verothexeno

  *sigh*

I'll be honest, Deviantart is kinda dead for me.

They changed so many things regarding image formatting (my png drawings looks like jpegs ...), the community doesn't feel the same, yaddi yaddi ya~

Also I've been focusing a lot more on my writing lately (have some projects in mind). Most of the drawings I do are doodles or just personal pieces and I feel like they don't really belong here....

I'm exhausted.
Both physically and mentally.

A lot of things are going on in my personal life. Good and bad. Mostly bad on some occasions, but I can manage .. I guess.

Time will tell what needs to be done, but for now I prefer to focus on myself and work on things that brings a little sunshine in me, y'know?

Anyway, something positive is coming soon for me though!

From November 17th to the 20th I'll be in New York City for a little solo trip~
It'll be my second time in that city and I can't wait! It will definitely do some good on me - I'll be able to breathe, focus on myself and not have to worry about anything (at least for a couple of days..)

I know some people have been looking up to me regarding my art. I'm sorry I'm letting you down like this. I'm trying the best I can not to fall down in the depression lane for a third time in my life.

I may post some things once in a while, but I can't guarantee that it'll be the best stuff ever x)

Thank you for understanding and keep being awesome <3

Sorry, I got a lot going on these days :'Y

ANYWAY !
Hi guys A new year is upon us so that means a lot of new things to come !!
I got myself a new PC that is way more performant than the one I currently own. SO that means I'll be able to easily create new content, such as music, videos and animations ! I'm really hyped

I won't give too much details about future plans for now - since I have to gather everything together in order to see all my possibilities x'D but I'm hoping this year will be filled with awesome content~

Also I think it's important to try to spread positivity as much as possible. Last year was a weird rollercoaster for me. It first started in a strong depression (spend last winter hidden in my apartment, crying all the time. YAH KNOW, good stuff), then I rekindled my love for the TMNT fandom (which had been dormant for pretty much all my life in fear of being ridiculised, but now I want to show that I've always loved it <3), found a job in which I feel like I belong, made some awesome new friends, and finally started a new chapter of my life (house and car). It was hard by moments. I've had some bad anxiety and panic attacks at some points, but that's how it is. I'll have to live with that shitty mind of mine. I'll have to live with my depression coming back once in a while and my anxiety making me want to curl into a ball and cry; but now I'm starting to see the warning signs and I try my best to counter those shitty problems and live a better life.
I think it's important to talk about those issues. Mental health problems exists and are found way more commonly than we think. It's good to be able to open up and find solace in things we like. Who cares if people don't like what you like? Who cares if people make bad comments about you? You have one life to live - better make it worthwhile and as pleasant as possible ! Love yourself first, be patient and kind. Offer a helping hand and be mature. You'll see the world will turn for the best and all the hate will fade away <3

Love you all

Happy New Year !

YIKES, my last journal was from March .... sorry :'Y

Just a quick update about how things are going in my life. Why I'm absent here and yaddy-yaddy-yah~

First of all, for those who didn't know, I got a job back in May in video game testing ! YEP, I spend my day playing video games xD but I have to find bugs and see how the game can be broken before it gets released to the public.
Seriously, it's one of the first jobs ever where I don't feel stressed nor anxious. The people I work with are super kind and fun and the days go by quickly, it's unbelievable ... I don't know if it'll become my lifelong career ... I plan on doing so many things. Only the future will tell ! I do plan on doing more stuff art-wise and I might get the animation art program I want on my computer so that'll be a HUGE PLUS. ... I still have to think things through and try to find my place in all of this.

Also, why the hell am I almost non-active here ?!?!?!?
Deviantart is turning into a place of hate for me. I'm not pointing fingers to anyone, rest assured. It's simply that it doesn't feel the same. As the years go on, you're somehow expected to post certain things or act a certain way to keep people's interest and that feels fake for me. I don't feel comfortable being someone I'm not and I'd rather move to a website which will let me be myself without feeling left out.
NO, I'm not leaving dA. I'm simply stating that my activity here will be less active than before. If I ever do art streams or things like that, I will post links on this profile because I still care about my watchers <3
I simply don't want to force myself to do things I don't feel comfortable doing.

THAT BEING SAID !
Things will maybe get a bit hectic in the next few months. My fiancé and I might buy a house (IF THINGS GO AS PLANNED) and we're super happy about it !! I just can't wait to not have to live in an apartment anymore x_____x


Soooo, yeah, I love you guys -u- <333